Have you ever been dumbfounded by the bias of our own view of self? The very traits we think we posses may to an extent be imaginary. 

It’s those times when we may think we’re living life to the full, freely feeling and embracing the joys and pains life has to offer, but in fact we zoned out most of our life events, we walk without feeling anything, too consumed with our own minute thoughts. Times when we think we have multiple perspectives, but in fact we have a very narrow tunnel view about the world.

Worse, we may think that we’re reflective, but most days we go about as a body without a mind, without thinking nor feeling, without being engaged with anything that happens around us. Renee Descartes wrote “We think, therefore we exist”, by this standard, we don’t even exist!

Well, today i have. For a day, my world’s shaken. For years i’ve built my existence and identity around the traits i thought i have, having it shaken makes me feel so confused, being confused makes me feel so small. Because i have this (maybe false) belief that being an adult means never being confused about the most foundational thing as mere identity. I feel like i’m falling short of handling the task of being an adult.

I take shelter of comfort in the disposition of arguably my favorite person to ever grace this earth.

“The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become – because he made us. He invented all the different people that you and I were intended to be. It is when I turn to Christ, when I give up myself to His personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own.”- C.S Lewis